Wow. It sure has been a long time since I've written. I apologize to those of you who were wondering what was going on.
The short story is I got sick. But that really doesn't adequately explain everything. It was more than an illness. It was a change in life perspective.
After months of testing and visits with the neurologist and the stress of the bills. Oh, the friggin' bills. We discovered that I'm having seizures. They're a type of seizure called a myoclonic seizure. My muscles contract and release involuntarily. Overall it's certainly not as debilitating as having grand mal seizures and I don't lose consciousness during the seizures. But over time they do cause pain and fatigue.
What frustrates me is that only describes what is happening to my body. It doesn't describe WHY it's happening and that's what is driving me bonkers. It's helpful to have a name to describe it, but I want to cure it. Why at the age of 45 did this suddenly develop? What can I do to stop it? Will it progress into something else? Apparently those are questions I won't receive the answers to.
For the time being I'm coping with it. I try to get more sleep, because that reduces the frequency of the seizures. I've added more fish to my diet, because that reduces the frequency of the seizures. I've tried to reduce stress in my life, because that reduces the seizures. I try to avoid certain types of fluorescent lighting, because that reduces the seizures. I try to avoid certain types of tv shows, because that reduces the seizures. I try to limit my time using computer screens, because that reduces the seizures. But nothing STOPS the seizures. I have good days and I have bad days. And then I have the really bad days.
I began this blog years ago when the baby girl was literally a baby. She was an infant and because of the way we parent I found I had some time on my hands to fill. While she napped in the family bed I needed to be close by in case she needed me and to monitor her for safety purposes. The laptop was right there with me and I decided to write a blog. Over the years that became my naptime activity. It was a quiet activity and it also connected me with other people. I'm still amazed at the number of people who find old posts and ask questions and leave comments.
But the baby girl isn't a baby. In fact in just a few weeks that baby will be 5 years old. She's working on penmanship, basic arithmetic, and learning to read. She doesn't nap. :) So I lost that writing time and since I've gotten sick I re-evaluated how I choose to spend my time. I re-evaluated what is important to me. Many activities were bumped down the list and several got kicked to the curb. What is important is spending time with my children and with my husband. Since writing the blog doesn't involve spending time with my children and my husband and since it also involves screen time it really doesn't make it to the top of my list these days.
I can't say I'll stop writing forever. I do still try to answer questions and do still try to publish comments. I'll leave the blog up (perhaps as long as blogger will permit) because people are still finding it and letting me know that at least some of the content is helpful to them.
- A 40 something mama meandering through life with an eclectic 21 year old boy-man (the boy), an 8 year old girl (big girl) who is a ball of lightening, and a 4 year old girl (baby girl) who brightens our lives with her smiles. I'm grounded by my 40 something husband and partner (the hubster) whose quirky mannerisms brighten my days.
I've been a single mama, married mama, divorced mama, career mama, SAHM, and WAHM. There was a short time of my life when I wasn't a mama, but that was a LONG time ago!
I hold an AA, BS, and MA and most say I'm wasting them by devoting my intellectual capabilities and energy in the nurture of the wee ones that I've been entrusted to raise, but there is nothing else I'd rather be doing these days. :)
I love hearing from readers, so please share your thoughts and leave comments, too!